I HATE BUGS!!!!!

So the other day I came home from mass to find a brown recluse spider laying her eggs on my front door! Yes, the poisonous spiders that can cause permanent damage to children if bitten. Well, I placed my children securely inside the house, Finn napping in his crib, and Liam involved in a movie. Then I grabbed at the shards of my courage (I have an unusually strong fear response to bugs, really, its pathetic!) and my Clorox mop (just like swiffer, without giving money to abortions!) and my spray bottle of bleach. I ran out the back door and around to the front of the house, I wanted to keep it out of the house if at all possible. I took a deep breath, gripped the mop in one hand and took aim with the bleach, and pulled open the storm door. I sprayed the heck out of that spider. It was overkill, but the thing kept moving, so I kept spraying. There were a few tense milliseconds where it looked like it was going to scamper under the door and into my house, but there was NO WAY I was going to let that thing in my house, so with an all mighty war cry (sad but true!) I lunged at my foe with the flat end of the mop and squished with all my might, stepping on it for added emphasis, and scraping the remains to bits on the concrete. I then attacked the egg sack and sprayed and squished with all my might, flooding my doorway with bleach, destroying all remains of the spiders. It was gone. and I was shaking with adrenaline. really really sad I know. Before I would let my children out the front door I pored water to wash the bleach and spider guts away, and it was done.

But the bugs are not done with me, Oh No, not by a long shot. Yesterday I was getting the kids in the car to get some groceries and I noticed a queen wasp flying around the car, I didn't think too much of it (all though we had a wasp problem earlier in the year with 7 nests started on our house and at least 30 flying into the kitchen some how) Anyway, I came home from the store, and noticed it still flying around. It landed and then went right behind the side view mirror. It was building a nest inside the side view mirror, in the space between the mirror and the plastic that attaches it to the car. Stupid bug. There was no way I wanted a wasp nest on my car so I again had to rally my courage to defeat another foe. After a consultation with my dad (thanks dad!) I decided to secure a plastic bag around the mirror in hopes of making it way to hot to survive. But me being a total bug killer, I went overboard. I decided to spray bleach in the bag before tying it onto the mirror, and then I parked in the sun. Hopefully the combination of heat and toxic fumes solved that problem. Dom came home from work and sprayed out the mirror, and claims that he didn't see anything. Really, he never sees all the bugs that I see. Maybe its a stress induced psychosis, I don't know. All I know is I have had the worst pest problem since living in North Carolina, and I am SO OVER IT!
Housing will not spray for spiders, or wasps. But I am having them come out and spray for roaches and ants outside the house, hopefully I can keep them out this way. because, yeah, I still see the occasional roach hanging out at the front door, I'm sure waiting for the night I don't take out the trash, do the dishes or sweep the floor. And the lovely fire ants love to come in and go after crumbs, or the giant "water bugs"(they look like huge black roaches) that like to climb the walls. Yeah, I hate bugs. I really hate bugs. And I HATE that I get so scared when I have to kill them, I know I am bigger than them, but still.

This story was for gripping and entertainment purposes. I hope you can laugh at my crazy antics! I know I try to, once the adrenaline has passed that is. :-)